A Call for the Return of Character, Honor, and Dignity
Silly words in 2024?
No, It’s Not a Return to “Happy Days”
When you hear people argue that our culture in America is in decline, they aren’t necessarily pining for the days of poodle skirts, sock hops, and malt shops. Mostly, they’re missing the general expectations the greatest generation placed on character, honor, and dignity.
Immediately, they’re attacked as backward racist homophobe misogynists who obviously long for the segregation and civil rights denials of the 50’s, keeping gays in the closet, and making women welcome husbands home from work in a dress and pearls.
That ain’t it.
“My God, What is Wrong With People?”
The times had its many obscene flaws and not one soul was perfect. In many ways, we are different people now. Even the greatest generation wasn’t without reproach. But recognizing that shouldn’t auto-trigger blanket condemnation of what we largely collectively valued back then regarding personal behavior and how one should try to conduct themselves.
In other words, when you hold the greatest generation’s notions of personal character, honor, and dignity up against what has become normalized in 2024, you start to understand why the reaction to most newscasts is an open-jawed, “My God, what is wrong with people?”
Again, I 100% realize there are people who long for a past that never even really existed as they look at revisionist history through rose colored glasses. But it was a culture, and I remember it accurately because I was raised in the 60s by two greatest generation veterans of the US Air Force, in which character, honor, and dignity were ingrained in us and expected. Sure, we all fell short, but it was the default settings for how one “should” be. We strived for it, and we got corrected when we strayed too far from it.
If the people are of low character and dishonorable, that society will take on the shape of its collective residents.
A Prideful Rejection
Today, our culture seems downright prideful in its rejection of these concepts. Even the words character, honor, and dignity barely appear in our modern lexicon. It’s doubtful most people today could even come up with a somewhat agreed-upon definition for the words and what they mean. And how many kids today have these standards expected of them with adults around who model them?
A society is not its own entity. It’s made up of the aggregated characteristics of the humans who comprise it. That’s true at every level; in the home, in a school, in a church, in a neighborhood, in a city, all the way out to the globe. If the people are of low character and dishonorable, that society will take on the shape of its collective residents.
Some Definitions
Okay, since it’s been a while, just what do those words mean?
Character: When MLK Jr. dreamed about all of us being judged not by the color of our skin but by the content of our character, he was communicating the legitimacy of character. Not okay to be characterized and judged by skin color. Perfectly okay to be judged on how you conduct yourself. A person who treats others well, is peaceful and slow to anger, is willing to help others however they can, who works diligently and conscientiously at whatever they do, has sound principles like honesty and reliability, who lifts up and is a positive force for those they encounter…this is the kind of person who can make color not matter.
Honor: This means someone who has had honor ascribed to or bestowed upon them by others because that honor has been earned. By seeking to inspire a high level of trust from those you interact with, you start earning honor and once assigned to you, you maintain it by being incorruptible and always worthy of it.
Dignity: This is your ability to maintain respect, mostly your self-respect. You are a dignified person, and as such, you want to foster that dignity by the way you present and represent yourself physically and personally. To do anything that would risk robbing you of your dignity would be an unthinkable blow. But when you suffer a loss of dignity for whatever reason, you immediately set to work restoring it.
There’s denial of the reality of right and wrong. Whatever I do is right, and whoever tries to stop me is wrong.
Normalizing Aberrant Behavior
Today, these ideals are alien for far too many of us, and we’ve gotten quite comfortable with that. We’ve normalized it. We shrug our shoulders and say, “That’s just how the world is. That’s just how people are. If you aspire to these things, the world will eat you alive.”
Others are no longer even able to recognize shortcomings in character, honor, and dignity in themselves. There’s denial of the reality of right and wrong. Whatever I do is right, and whoever tries to stop me is wrong. With over 8 billion people in the world, every individual writing their own fluctuating definitions of right and wrong is called anarchy. Maybe a creeping sense of anarchy is what we’ve been feeling lately.
Do You Pull for the Bad Guys?
For some of us, the bad guys are our heroes. We want to see the Tony Sopranos and Walter Whites of the world win. We want to see Thanos snap and erase half the population. We admire the best criminal operations. We love people who “get away with it.” We emulate the worst of the worst and call it the best. And far too many of us would rather be feared than liked.
Some of us know what character, honor, and dignity are, but we’ve given up on ourselves, believing we could never meet such standards. However, since nobody’s ever going to be perfect, the standard isn’t perfection, it’s to be a person who always strives to be the most upstanding person they can be. Far from being some intolerable guilt, failure, or unworthiness, it’s merely participation in a collective bar of aspiration we should all be able to agree on.
How much easier do you think life would be, how many anxieties reduced if you didn’t have to assume the worst about everyone and constantly be on defense? We’re talking borderline utopia here.
Are You Checking Any of These Boxes?
Still confused? Here are just a few activities or attitudes that would indicate there’s room to grow in areas of character, honor, and dignity:
Seeking to hurt people in all the ways a person can be hurt.
Stealing or making money by cheating people.
Complete disregard for the law or rule of law.
Knowingly deceiving people or good old-fashioned lying.
Total disregard for the peace of others around you and lack of empathy.
Narcissism and complete absorption with yourself.
Maintaining yourself as a constant source of pain and struggle to your family, the public, and law enforcement through behavior-altering intoxication.
Starting mean-spirited arguments and verbal altercations anytime you can with whomever you can.
Aggressive driving with no consideration for the safety of other motorists.
Bizarre or offensive behavior during short periods of confinement with others such as on an airline flight or on public transportation.
The list could go on for miles, but these are just a handful of core behaviors millions embrace daily, with no regard for what anyone else thinks or feels. A master class in selfishness. It’s not a religious or ideological or partisan politics thing, it’s a human cohabitation thing.
What Do We Get Out of It?
How would we all benefit from a return to character, honor, and dignity?
Imagine waking up tomorrow in a world where suddenly, all the politicians, business leaders, service providers, lawyers, salespeople, organization leaders, employees, journalists, and parents began deeply and sincerely caring about their character, honor, and dignity. How would that impact your day-to-day life? How much easier do you think life would be, how many anxieties reduced if you didn’t have to assume the worst about everyone and constantly be on defense? We’re talking borderline utopia here.
This image of how vastly different our lives and experiences with each other would be if such a thing could happen is a clear marker of just how far we’ve drifted.
You Can Take Action Today, On Your Own
Saving society is a one person at a time affair. If we’re behaving in a way we know in our heart is wrong, we should stop rationalizing, making excuses, and giving ourselves undeserved free passes. We should challenge ourselves to correct that behavior. Strive to be a higher standard version of ourselves.
I bet we’d start seeing ourselves in a different light, and we’d like the view.